Home

The airplane touched down and I was home again. Home? Illinois, Arizona, or Costa Rica? Well that depends on where I begin my story. A week before Christmas I arrived in Illinois with a pristine snowfall. Snow was first on my wish list. I always miss fall and winter in the desert. The trees finally lost their leaves here in Arizona, but it feels like the seasons are running counterclockwise. I was surprised to experience that "coming home" feeling as I flew into Costa Rica on the first Sunday of '08. Over a year living there was enough to get the place into my blood. The morning sun and the warm, furious wind were familiar to my skin.

It gets harder to leave Illinois each time I visit. My entire family is there (and it's growing and they're beautiful). My niece watches you speak with such intensity. She repeats back what you say and acts with understanding (even defiance). It's thrilling. I got to see my new nephew Mason and his namesake my grandfather asleep on the same couch while the rest of us laughed and tore open gifts. They slept like babies.

My dad gave me, my brother-in-law, and my little sister's fiance remote control airplanes. It was inspired. Our first excitement was discovering that they were all on the same frequency as propellers leapt to life in our hands. After that we flew them, individually, into trees, the curb, and our neighbor's garage. The adventure was in discovering whether they still ran after each crash (mostly not).

Of course while I'm across the Plains from my desert life the prospect of ever having my own family seems more distant and strange. I was invited to Costa Rica to see two friends tie the knot. They tie it pretty much the same but with a lot more dancing before dinner. The bride looked beautiful even while I was dancing with her which was something because I completely forgot how to Merengue.

It's a wonderful thing to feel needed, and I never experience that more than in Costa Rica. I spared as much time as I could for giving training even though I was there on my own dime for the wedding and still had to attend to other work. I spoke slowly and avoided figures of speech, the better to be understood. Later, as I was saying my goodbyes I took the opportunity to introduce myself to one of the junior employees who I hadn't yet met, a beautiful girl just learning English who said in a timid voice, "My name is Ana-Marie. You are very serious." I was speechless, she was very forward. I also thought, she's been noticing me too.

I left Illinois in another snowfall and Costa Rica on another sunny morning. Leaving is hard even when you are returning home. Especially if returning home means you have to leave another.